The Trends.....

This article is dedicated to my friend “N” who took me on his date to accompany him. He made me realize of one thing that today’s Trends of having unnecessary and unrewarding (means in which both gets nothing in the end) relationships are becoming the Need of today’s generation. The generation here involves the people of every category. You must be thinking what basically I am talking about. I am talking about today’s generations most needed demand. I am talking about The Trends of having Boy friends and Girl Friends.

I am not against these things. The problem is people don’t want to be committed, they are having few girlfriends or boyfriends but still yearning for more or in other words they have lost the true meaning of “commitment” and how, I’ll explain it later. It should be kept in mind over here that I am not talking about the people who are or have been in well committed relationship but only the trends which the mostly young generation is following.

What really inspired me to write this are the reasons given by people behind having such relationships. Now I am telling you few real life examples of boys. I once asked my friend who is quite flirty that “Why you want girl friends?” he responded “If I didn’t have any, then why would I have been so famous among my friends.” I rhetorically replied “Why you want to be famous among your friends?” No response came from other side. My other friend answered the same question by saying “See, I have girl friends and that’s why I am the center of attraction among my friends”. My other very closed friend said “Abe yaar, abhi nahin karenge to kab karenge” The other said “Yaar, I am following your point, Kabeer. Remember you once said me we all need emotional securence and that’s what I am doing. I am giving emotional satisfaction to different girls” I really had no reply to his answer as I was wondering how people take the right thing in wrong direction. One other teenager said “Why are asking me this when person X (my other friend) has 5 GFs and I have only 3”. You must be thinking it is the most stupid reason but you know what it is the actual reason. It is true that nowadays generally those boys are given more attention who have GFs rather than who don’t have any. Every one wants to show off over here. Everyone wants to be center of attention. Everyone wants to be dominant over others. May be this is what Charles Darwin purposed in 1859 in his Struggle for Existence theory. One more major reason behind having or keeping many girlfriends is LUST. Sadly, but it is the reason given by almost everyone.

There is also a group of people (both sexes) who want to have BFs and GFs but cannot have some, due to some various reasons. Specifically, those people face the real dilemma because this “can’t” sometimes distract them from their career and also causes problems in their personal life. The main problem they face is of inferiority complex. Being the student of psychology, I can understand how drastic this problem is and to what extend it can affect one’s life. It can cause changes in behavior (personality problem), hypertension, depression, low morale and addiction (smoking, alcoholic drinks, illicit sex). Addiction is specifically shown by boys.

I think I have enough criticized the boys now. Let’s see how girls defend their relationships and themselves? I am writing some reasons given by different girls

• To survive in today’s world, it is must that you keep few guys with you.
• Money ( Majority)
• Lust (very few, but there are)
• To show off (Bharam-bazi)
• Entertainment and enjoyment (in other words, Timepass)
• To be in trends and center of attention.
• One girl said me “yaar itni khoobsurat hoon, to nakhre sehne ke liye koi to chahey na.” Well, I admit she was damn beautiful. This one is for you “K”.

So, one can’t say it is only boys mistake. Both are equally involve in spoiling the society.

I have seen in my friends circle and other as well guys who have the GFs represent themselves in front of their friends as they have won the scholarship in Stanford or something. Its true they all do it satisfy themselves. Psychologically speaking, this is the included in a primary need of humans. We all satisfy or want to satisfy ourselves in one way or another. As, I have also gone through that phase of life as well. When I also liked to have girlfriends indeed I confess I had but luckily something or someone really made me realize that how wrong I was. I think most of the guys lack that “something” in their life. When I discovered the true value and meaning of a relationship and how it can transform the life of anyone. I thought how naïve I was. Though that something didn’t last for long but it really made me realize what I was about to loose in order to gain the transitory satisfaction.

I am not saying this that one shouldn’t keep GF or BF at all. What I am saying is at least be true to yourself and your relationship. In short, stop flirting and be serious. The word serious reminds me one more problem that is normally people don’t take these things very seriously. You can judge this from the ways children or we have grown. Have our parents ever talked about the value of relationships? Have our teacher done that? No never. So basically, from the beginning the value of these things is being underestimated.

Well, all Guys and Girls out there I want to ask you two simple questions. Basically, you have to ask these questions from yourselves, if you are in a relationship or planning to be in.

1. What do you really want from your relationship?
2. What is the future of your relationship?

If your answers satisfy yourselves then go for it. Otherwise, believe me you are loosing the gem. Let me define this word Gem over here. I am going to define very interesting theory of Behavioral Psychology in my own words:

Psychologically speaking, our hearts are like rubbers (in these love and kind of things). The more you stretch it the more it’ll loosen means getting older and useless in one sense. So basically when we have so many break-ups and again new relationships, this rubber looses its strength. The more new relationships we have the older it (rubber) will become. Ultimately, we lose the true meaning of commitment which we need for successfulness of our post-marital life. We wouldn’t realize this till we know and understand the disparity between the relationship with commitment and without commitment. So, for making this present as good for short time purpose (according to them which isn’t the case in reality) we are maligning our future and losing the real gift of nature and sadly most people aren’t even realizing this.

I think I have defined my point very well. Your comments are always welcome…..!!!